How Do You Deal with Hate?, Daily Brief March 11, 2025

How Do You Deal with Hate?

A friend in the US got in touch the other day with a depressing, but sadly revealing, story.

She was out shopping with her daughter, and the two of them were chatting normally. A passerby overheard them and approached to tell them that Trump had won the election, and he had signed an executive order making English the official language of the United States. So, the person told them, they shouldn’t be speaking Spanish as they were.

The daughter, born in the US, started to reply in perfect English, but the stranger just shouted, “go back to your country.”

It’s a simple story of nasty verbal aggression and sadly not a unique one. However, in their absurd, dangerous, and frustrating aspects, offensive incidents like this can tell us something important – and present us with at least one tricky question, which we’ll put to you, the reader.

First, it’s absurd because, the rude interrupter clearly doesn’t understand what “official language” means. The clue is in the name: a language used for official purposes. It’s to direct how government agencies and such should operate and interact with the public in an agreed tongue.

An official language is most certainly not about what individuals are allowed to speak in public. If we have freedom of speech as individuals, we certainly have the freedom to speak in whatever language we choose.

Still, incidents like this reveal something dangerous developing. When politicians come to power after making hatred of immigrants central to their campaign, they feel they need to do to take steps to prove to their supporters that they are fulfilling their promises.

They do this with laws, executive orders, rules, and other formal ways, but the overall tone leading politicians set can be just as important.

With actions and with words, Trump and his administration have been adding layer after layer of fear and anxiety in immigrant communities. Many people are terrified. Some now avoid going to church or the hospital. Many children don’t go to school.

It’s not just ICE raids people are worried about; it’s members of the public, riled up in their racist hatreds by a president who’s sending all the worst signals. Meanness is the message, and it is received loud and clear by people like the one who accosted the mother and daughter last week.

It’s all so enraging, too. You can rationalize that such rude behavior stems from deep ignorance and gutter hatred, but when you’re face to face with it, what do you do?

For the mother and daughter pair, it was a terrible experience. They were so taken aback, they didn’t know what to say to the person. There’s always a temptation to try to engage, to stand your ground – but then, what if things escalate beyond words? The daughter wanted to say something; the mother pulled her back.

“Let’s go. Don’t argue.”

Later, she wondered if that was the right thing to do and asked friends and family, “What should we have done?”

We agreed we would ask Daily Brief readers: What would you have said and done?

How do you deal with people who’ve been so worked up by politicians – and likely other hateful voices in media and social media – that they think they now have the authority to tell you what to do and how to speak? These are not people on screens saying nasty things and posting ugly comments. They are there, in person, in your face.

What’s the right response?

Dear readers, let’s hear your ideas, please, via email, Mastodon, LinkedIn, or Bluesky. We’ll collect your responses for a future edition of the Daily Brief, so let us know if we can use your name or not. Thanks.