VIII. Parents' Inability to Protect Children

According to our interviews, parents of students with disabilities faced numerous challenges when trying to protect their children from violent school discipline. Often, parents did not know-or still do not know now-the full extent of the violence used against their children because the school did not disclose or because the child was unable to tell. Parents we interviewed repeatedly struggled with their school districts while trying to obtain appropriate services for their children. Corporal punishment led to deterioration in family life, as parents were forced to withdraw children from school, resort to homeschooling, and give up jobs. Parents felt these moves were necessary in order to secure their child's physical safety, yet took a high toll on the family.

Lack of Information

Parents were frequently unaware that their child received physical punishment in school because the school did not tell them or their child was unable to describe the incidents. May R., the mother of a Florida girl with bipolar disorder who was repeatedly injured at school, commented, "Most of the time, they didn't call me if they restrained her ... We had requested, many, many times, but we never got that information [on how many times she was restrained]."[185]

Students with severe disabilities may have trouble communicating to their parents the traumatic events at school. Brianna, a five-year-old with autism in Georgia, was repeatedly abused. Her mother, Sharon H., noted, "She was grabbed, yanked, pulled. But I don't know all that happened. She wasn't very verbal."[186] Rose C. added:

My son couldn't explain this. He couldn't explain what had happened to me. They [the school staff] had been picking him up, throwing him into the tile floor like a wrestler. They'd drag him, pick him up by all four limbs. You can see [on security video tape] where they're dragging him on the ground. They're carrying him like a wild animal. They grabbed him, they throw him like a bag of potatoes ... They put him in a choke hold ... I asked him, what was wrong. He can't explain.[187]

Struggles with the School System

Many families we interviewed reported that they had trouble working with school systems to secure their child's safety. Deena S., a Texas mother, described her experience:

We went to the superintendent first. We asked him, "what was his definition of corporal punishment-at what point does it cross the line?" He looked at us, said "when we start getting into bruising and blistering." We looked at him, said, "we're already at that point." But he didn't do anything. Just acted like it was no big deal.[188]

Many parents described prolonged struggles with their school districts. Karen W. fought repeatedly for her son: "We went to war, we really did. [After he was bruised] I demanded a new IEP [individual education program] ... I requested a qualified teacher, I requested training for the staff in autism."[189] Tom R.'s son with Tourette Syndrome and bipolar disorder was repeatedly injured in school. Tom commented, "It was a seven year fight to get him in that situation where he can succeed."[190]

Parents reported that they needed considerable legal knowledge to fight for their children. Karen W. regretted the lack of information she had when her child was first restrained: "My ignorance of what the schools could do ... you don't have any choice if you don't know what the law is. There are so many things that parents can do if they have parent training in IDEA [Individuals with Disabilities Education Act] and they know."[191] Michelle R. added, "Being a special education teacher, I know what they can and cannot do. I told the attorneys and everyone else that I can't imagine being a parent who does not know their rights."[192]

Some parents were able to find help through support groups or advocacy centers. As Anna M., a Florida mother of a boy with autism, noted, "I had to hire attorneys ... The school never told me my options ... I found support groups, that was such a blessing. I try to help people so they don't have to go through what I did. I learned the hard way."[193] Rose C. agreed: "The advocacy center helped me collect the information. If I hadn't had that help, nothing would have been done."[194]

Impact on Family Life

Many parents who saw their children physically punished felt they had to withdraw their children from school to protect their safety. Yet this choice can come with considerable hardship, including lack of educational services for the child, job loss for a parent, and charges of truancy. Theresa E. described the dilemma she and her husband faced after their granddaughter was physically punished: "We thought she needed school for socialization. I didn't think I could home school her. Jessie's autistic. I know how to work with her. I'm not sure I can educate her."[195] Anna M. faced a similar dilemma when her son with autism was physically punished as a seven-year-old. She ultimately found a new placement for her son:

I wouldn't let him go to school. I was afraid for his life, to be honest. He was 52 pounds, or maybe even less, at this point ... I wanted to keep him home, but that's not good for him either. He needed to be in school. At his new school, he's so comfortable. He's a social butterfly.[196]

Some parents we interviewed were forced to resort to homeschooling their children. As Brian W., the father of a boy with autism in Arkansas, said, "once [my son] was injured, we pulled him out of school and started educating him ourselves."[197] Deena S. followed the same course after her teenage son was paddled and bruised in Texas: "we did what we could at home with him, but he was already behind."[198]

In order to home school their children, several parents we interviewed had to stop working. Jacquelyn K.'s grandson was paddled at six years old. His anxiety disorder and autism worsened, and she withdrew him from school: "What kills me, I have another child here at home. I can't work. I've tried to locate something I can do at home. But I don't have a choice.... Before he was sick, I worked every day."[199] May R. withdrew her daughter from her Florida elementary school after she was severely bruised, and stopped working: "I can't even get a job. She was on hospital/homebound. I had to keep her safe. She had taken a huge downturn."[200]

Several families were accused of truancy or feared those accusations once they withdrew their children from school.[201] Cynthia C. noted, "Retaliation is horrible in this county [in Georgia]. If I kept [my son] out, they'd write me up for truancy."[202] Jacquelyn K. described her situation in Mississippi:

When [my grandson] was seven, they sent truant officers. They said I'd go to jail if I didn't send him back to school. But they didn't have anyone qualified to teach him ... if I felt he would have been safe in school, he would have been there. I'm sure they would have paddled him again. I don't trust them ... Then they turned around and tried to point the finger at me, saying I was interfering with his education.[203]

Guilt and Resilience

Many parents we interviewed expressed guilt, feeling they had failed to protect their children from harm. Jacquelyn K. commented, "I can imagine my little child was just screaming and hollering, and I wasn't there to help him."[204]Karen W., whose son with autism was abused in school, noted, "I was ignorant. I am a registered nurse, but I was still stupid ... Oh, the guilt I live with ... I blame myself for my ignorance."[205] Rose C.'s son was unable to tell her that he was repeatedly punished in school, but she learned of some of the abuse after watching a security video. She said,

I don't trust my own eyes anymore, I didn't see the abuse ... I trusted the school, I trusted them to do the right thing. I didn't see that they would hurt him, I didn't believe it. But eventually I saw the video ... All this abuse happened on my watch. It never should have happened. I feel so guilty. I cannot afford to miss this again, I can't trust anyone again.[206]

Some parents started to fight back, organizing or joining support groups, and conducting legal research. Anna M. observed, "I trusted them [the school staff], I didn't even know they were allowed to put their hands on your kid. I feel so stupid. I started doing some legal research ... It's a very scary word, special ed. A lot of things parents just don't know. You just blindly trust. It was a very bad experience-and having to find out there's hundreds of us."[207] Karen W. observed, "If parents knew that schools do this, the kids wouldn't be hurt. You try to tell them, you all have rights. That's why we started this support system. That's when [the abuse against my son] stopped."[208]