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Bride-kidnapping

Bride-kidnapping is a crime in Kyrgyzstan, but it goes unpunished in practice. It causes women physical and psychological harm.

Many law enforcement and other government officials view kidnapping for forced marriage as a useful tradition and not a serious crime. Yet as this chapter illustrates, the kidnapping itself is an act of physical assault, often perpetrated by groups, and frequently involves rape. Kidnappers, including the intended groom’s female relatives, isolate the woman to prevent her from escaping. Overwhelming psychological pressure is brought to bear—chiefly by the kidnapper’s female relatives but also by the woman’s natal family—to coerce her to submit to the marriage and remain with her abductor. The government’s failure to respond adequately to stop abduction for forced marriage constitutes a breach of its obligations under various international human rights instruments.

• A Note on Terminology

• Background

• Abductions for Forced Marriage on the Rise

• Pattern of Abduction

• Motivations for Abduction

• Men pressured to marry and to kidnap

• Many men who kidnap not considered “good matches”

• Kidnapping as a violent expression of male power

• Men who kidnap not held accountable

• Anatomy of an Abduction

• Abductions are carried out by acquaintances or strangers

• Abductors may use physical force to capture a woman

• Abductors may use deception to kidnap a woman

• Abductors use psychological coercion

• Absence of consent is ignored in the wedding ceremony

• Abductors isolate women to prevent them from escaping

• Women are forced to stay with their kidnappers out of fear of social stigma

• Consequences of Abduction

• Physical and emotional pain and suffering

• Domestic violence

• New brides forced to work as unpaid servants for their in-laws

• No Justice for Victims of Abduction

• The law against bride-kidnapping

• The law not enforced

A Note on Terminology

In this report, the terms abduction, kidnapping, or bride-kidnapping are used to refer to the act of taking a woman or girl against her will through deception or force and using physical or psychological coercion to force her to marry one of her abductors. The terms kidnapping, bride-kidnapping, or abduction as used in this report indicate that the abduction is non-consensual—that is, that the woman who is kidnapped was not part of the planning of the kidnapping and had not given her consent to the kidnapping or the subsequent marriage free of psychological or physical coercion. We do not, therefore, apply such terminology in this report to cases of “consensual kidnapping,” such as so-called mock kidnappings in which the woman has agreed in advance to participate in imitating an abduction, or elopements carried out by the man and woman jointly, with the woman’s prior and explicit consent.³²⁶

Background

Bride-kidnapping takes place for the most part within the ethnic Kyrgyz community in the country, which comprises the majority of the population.³²⁷  Kidnappings take place in all parts of Kyrgyzstan—in major cities, in rural communities and mountain villages, in the south and in the north. The women who are taken are typically young, under the age of 25, and are sometimes minors.

There is substantial debate in Kyrgyzstan regarding whether bride-kidnapping is a “tradition.”  Government officials and some aksakals are among the proponents of the view that abduction is a traditional practice; many experts on the topic say it is not. NGO leaders and sociologists who have carefully examined marriage practices common during the country’s history argue that arranged marriage is in fact the tradition in Kyrgyzstan and that, historically, abduction was rare.³²⁸  They state that since independence, however, it has become increasingly common.³²⁹  NGO leaders emphasize that not only is abduction not a tradition, it is a crime.

Perhaps the best-known work related to the problem of bride-kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan was conducted by American sociologist Russell Kleinbach of Philadephia University, and Kyrgyz sociologists Mehrigiul Ablezova and Medina Aitieva from the American University-Central Asia in Bishkek. Conducted in 2004, the study found that the most popular reason offered for bride-kidnapping was that people regarded it as “a good tradition.”³³⁰  According to Lori Handrahan, who conducted another study on men who participate in bride-kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan, the increase in incidents of bride-kidnapping since the Soviet period can be explained by men’s view of it as a positive expression of Kyrgyz identity.³³¹

Several government officials who spoke to Human Rights Watch contend that bride-kidnapping is a tradition and that it is almost always consensual. With some exceptions, officials failed to acknowledge that abduction of women for forced marriage is a serious crime and that the state has an obligation to punish the perpetrators and prevent future incidents. Officials from the Office of the Ombudsman, the government agency responsible for advocating for the rights of Kyrgyzstan’s citizens, defended the practice of bride-kidnapping, contending that it is a tradition, and that women therefore ultimately consent to it. “[Bride-kidnapping] is a tradition, that’s why we’ve received no appeals. If it were by force, then maybe [people would complain]….”³³² A senior police officer was among people we interviewed who presented kidnapping as a useful institution that facilitates marriage, commenting, “Of course there is kidnapping, without this marriage doesn’t happen.”³³³

A government human rights official explained the role that he says abduction plays in ensuring that women get married: “I am a Kyrgyz man who grew up here and on the one hand I see it as a violation of the woman who then can’t marry the man she loves, but also many women are very shy, their behavior is very different, especially in the villages. We advise women not to associate with men. Our girls don’t know how to deal with men. When they grow up, they don’t know what to do. Some women are grateful [to be kidnapped], otherwise they say they would never have gotten married. If there was not this tradition, then they would never get married and have children, so I also look at it from that angle. I don’t support bride abduction myself.”³³⁴

A consequence of regarding bride-kidnapping a tradition is that it becomes part of the unwritten social charter and is deemed above criticism. President Bakiev’s advisor on human rights policy talking about bride-kidnapping said, “Most problems are resolved by the ‘law of the people.’  So people regard the law of the people as higher than the written law.”³³⁵

The debate over whether bride-kidnapping is a tradition has significant ramifications for the rights of women. Although the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) clearly calls for governments to take action to eliminate discrimination rooted in customs and traditions, some government officials who embrace kidnpapping and assume it to be a tradition or voluntary may not consider it a discriminatory practice, and may not be motivated to work to end it.

Abductions for Forced Marriage on the Rise

There are no official statistics for the number of kidnappings that take place each year or for the percentage of marriages that have begun with kidnapping, but sociologists, NGO leaders, and government officials expert in this area agree that the phenomenon is on the rise.

Experts offer various estimates of bride-kidnapping rates in Kyrgyzstan. Some put the figure at about 30 percent of all marriages and others say that in some areas up to 80 percent of marriages take place through kidnapping. The experts agree that the practice is pervasive.³³⁶ With some exceptions, government officials, on the other hand, deny that non-consensual bride-kidnapping is pervasive.

The 2004 American University-Central Asia study asserts that abductions for forced marriage have been on the rise not just since Kyrgyzstan attained independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, but have been steadily increasing during the past 40 to 50 years.³³⁷  The scholars say that prior to the Soviet period, abductions for marriage were rare.³³⁸  Their study differentiates between consensual and non-consensual kidnappings. It points out that both “consensual kidnappings” and non-consensual kidnappings have been increasing, and demonstrates the increase in non-consensual kidnappings with a shocking statistic from one village (exact location not disclosed):  63 percent of married women and girls ages 16 to 25 had been kidnapped without their consent, compared to 47 percent of married women ages 36 to 56, and only 27 percent of married women aged 76 or older. ³³⁹  Looking at all age groups, the study found that 80 percent of Kyrgyz marriages in the village were the result of kidnapping. The authors classified 57 percent of these as non-consensual,³⁴⁰ and concluded that, overall “35-45 per cent of married ethnic Kyrgyz women are married against their will as a result of bride-kidnapping”³⁴¹ (the study refers only to ethnic Kyrgyz women and girls, as abductions for forced marriage are rare among other ethnic groups in Kyrgyzstan).

Several NGO leaders say that in fact in some areas the percentage of marriages that take place through kidnapping is even higher than what was found in the study by Kleinbach, Ablezova, and Aitieva. One long-time researcher of this phenomenon, who founded and runs an NGO to help victims of abduction for forced marriage, said, “We did research on how many women married by agreement and how many were kidnapped. I was surprised that some 40 percent of women in the city were kidnapped and in villages it was more like 60 percent, and that in some villages the percentage of women kidnapped was more than 80 percent.” ³⁴²

All of the studies noted above consistently found bride-kidnapping to be more common in villages than in major cities, such as Bishkek and Osh, but abductions do take place in the cities as well, as evidenced by the experience of one young woman who spoke to Human Rights Watch. Shoira S. was kidnapped in Bishkek. She said, “People think that this doesn’t happen in the city, but it does…. Three years ago, in 2002, when I was 18 years old I was kidnapped. This is very widespread. Even in the city.”³⁴³

Several women interviewed by Human Rights Watch about their own experiences of being kidnapped reported that they were under the age of 18 when they were abducted for forced marriage. The Association of Women Leaders of Jalal Abad reported a case of kidnapping of a 12-year-old girl in that province in 1999. Another report about the abduction of girls for forced marriage stated that six girls, some of whom were legal minors, had been kidnapped in the town of Kerben, in the Aksy district of Jalal Abad province, during a one-week period in November 2005.³⁴⁴

Pattern of Abduction

Kidnappings of women are carried out in several different ways, and each woman’s experience of a kidnapping is unique, but there are some elements that are common to most abductions for forced marriage. A young woman, below the age of 25, is typically taken through force or deception by a group of men, including the intended groom. Sometimes the men are people she has met prior to the incident; sometimes they are complete strangers. The men are usually drunk; she is usually alone. She is taken to the home of her principal abductor, the intended groom, and is put in a room and surrounded by his female relatives. These women use physical force and a variety of forms of psychological coercion to compel her to “agree” to the marriage and submit to having the marriage scarf placed on her head—the sign that she consents to marry her abductor.³⁴⁵  If the kidnapped woman resists, this process can last for hours or days. She is often raped by her abductor, sometimes prior to her coerced consent to the marriage as a means of pressuring her to stay, and other times after a wedding ceremony has been conducted. The kidnapped woman or girl’s relatives are sometimes summoned, but not always, and typically join in attempting to convince her to stay (although in some cases parents will insist on or facilitate their daughters’ escape from their kidnappers). Marriages that take place following kidnappings are rarely registered with the state; instead a Muslim cleric typically conducts a ceremony and/or a wedding feast is held.

This is explored in detail below, in the section “Anatomy of an Abduction.”

Motivations for Abduction

Studies on bride-kidnapping cite a variety of factors that motivate some men to carry out abductions of women and girls. The following section of this chapter describes several of these. It is not an exhaustive treatment, as abuses against women and the role of the state—not the motivations of abductors and their accomplices—are the primary subjects of this report. Moreover, inquiry into the explanations for men’s abuse of women should not be misconstrued as justifying the actions that abductors take against women in violation of women’s rights.

Men pressured to marry and to kidnap

To be married is regarded as the norm in Kyrgyzstan. A man’s parents and close relatives are deeply interested in seeing him married. As discussed elsewhere in this report, a man’s mother in particular stands to benefit from his marriage, as the new bride is expected to assist her and in many cases take over the household duties.³⁴⁶

Sociologist Medina Aitieva, who co-authored the American University-Central Asia study on abduction for forced marriage, points out that parents’ own behavior, how they met and married, and pressure from family members can leave a lasting impression on male children and their ideas about marriage. As with the known phenomenon of generational repetition of domestic violence, many men are raised by mothers who were victims of kidnapping and fathers who committed kidnapping, and receive signals from their family and community that kidnapping is a “normal” and “acceptable” behavior. Aitieva said, “There’s a lot of pressure put on men by their families to marry…. Parents exert a lot of control over their children and how they form families.”³⁴⁷ 

Many families actively participate in planning and carrying out a kidnapping (indeed, in many cases the man’s parents and close relatives are not only active and willing accomplices but its instigators): they may select or help select the woman who will be targeted, they invite female relatives to the home to put pressure on the woman when she is brought there, and they organize a huge wedding feast, which adds to the woman’s sense that marriage to her abductor is a fait accompli. One woman who was kidnapped by a stranger talked about the man’s parents having pressured him to kidnap her, saying, “He also was forced to marry me…”³⁴⁸

At stake for the men is not only the approval of their families, but society as well. To be married is part of being a successful man. Fear of being stigmatized as an unsuccessful man can influence a man’s decision to “get” a bride through kidnapping. A man’s concern about his own social status and reputation also influences the way a kidnapping is carried out, including the man’s willingness to use force to bring about a “successful” outcome. As Turganbubu Orunbaeva, the head of Bakubat NGO in Naryn, points out, “Sometimes a girl manages to leave and the man is no longer considered a man.”³⁴⁹ Nargiza N., who was kidnapped by a classmate and a group of his friends, described the conversation the men had in the car, “I was kidnapped…. I said I didn’t agree to this, he became rude. He told his friends to stop the car because I didn’t agree [to the abduction], but they refused, they said, ‘We got her for you and now be quiet.’”³⁵⁰

Some activists have suggested that kidnapping is economically motivated. They say that men carry out kidnappings in order to avoid paying a bride price, or kalym, to the woman’s family. One NGO leader suggested that if the typical bride price were reduced, that might help to prevent kidnappings.³⁵¹  However, the available data shows that concern over the kalym ranks low among motivations for bride-kidnapping. The Kleinbach-Ablezova-Aitieva study, for instance, shows that only 3 percent of respondents said this was a factor in their decision to kidnap a woman for forced marriage.³⁵²

Many men who kidnap not considered “good matches”

Prejudice against the physically or mentally disabled is rampant in Kyrgyzstan and often goes unquestioned.³⁵³  Mental illness also carries a great deal of stigma in Kyrgyz society. As a result, a man who is disabled or ill faces greater challenges in finding a spouse or convincing a woman’s parents to agree to allow him to marry their daughter. Men who are seen as socially tainted, such as men with criminal records, are similarly viewed as undesirable matches by many women and their families. Men who face such prejudice or social stigma, and their relatives, may opt to kidnap a woman and deceive her about the man in order to coerce her consent to the marriage, rather than pursue her through consensual means.

Aisulu A., who was kidnapped and raped by a stranger, said she was particularly anxious not to stay with him when she learned he had a criminal record. “I wanted to leave,” she said, “I heard my husband had been in jail for eight years and I understood that it was not a peaceful house.”³⁵⁴

An activist in the south recalled the case of a woman kidnapped at the age of  25, widely regarded in Kyrgyzstan as the upper limit for marriageable age for women. The activist said, “She didn’t want to stay, but his relatives told her she should stay because she was already ‘old’ and no one [else] would take her. But the man was an invalid without legs.”³⁵⁵

Elmira E. was kidnapped at the age of 17 and beaten for years by her husband. She said, “The relatives convinced me to stay by saying, ‘He’s good’…. I eventually learned that my husband had been diagnosed a schizophrenic. When I found this out was when I decided that I must leave him.”³⁵⁶

Shoira S., kidnapped at the age of  18, also said that her abductor’s family misrepresented him to her to convince her to agree to the marriage. She said, “They hid things from me. He was not a full man, in both physical and mental terms.”³⁵⁷  The man’s family apparently plotted to kidnap her in order to compel her to join the family and in order to hide that their son was impotent; she also said she suspects he was mentally ill. She recalled:

My husband was not a real man. He was not able to have children. He would cry and threaten to kill himself. I didn’t understand that he was sick. Eventually I decided to leave him. His parents later admitted to me that they knew that he was not a real man and that he was incapable of having children. But his mother tried to convince me to stay—she said, “His father treats you very well. You are a good girl, obedient, loyal. You should stay with us.”  I later realized that they wanted me to be there to live with my husband’s father, to have a child for them.³⁵⁸

Kidnapping as a violent expression of male power

Abduction of a woman is a violent expression of men’s dominant position in Kyrgyz society. Some men view themselves as “entitled” to the women they have selected to marry, regardless of the women’s wishes. Lori Handrahan asserts that, for men, kidnapping is an act of violence against, and dominance of, women and an act that defines cultural identity and manhood. Handrahan says kidnapping reinforces “male hegemony,” that is, dominance of women.³⁵⁹  

Men who kidnap do not want to let go of their power or authority over women in order to court a woman and win her acceptance to marry. Bubusara Ryskulova explains, “Men don’t know how to relate to women, they think it’s easier to just kidnap.”³⁶⁰  Other experts like Aleksandra Eliferenko say that kidnapping is in part the result of Kyrgyz men’s objectification of women: “Men don’t give flowers, or follow other courtship rituals, they just take a woman like a thing and rape her and that’s it.”³⁶¹

In many cases, kidnappings and the violence that accompanies them are carried out by men in retaliation against women who have rejected them romantically, women they fear would reject them, or women they may perceive as independent.³⁶² NGO leaders who follow the problem of bride-kidnapping shared with Human Rights Watch anecdotal evidence of kidnapping as retaliation against women. Turganbubu Orunbaeva observed that in many abductions “a man wants to show a woman who has rejected him who is boss.”³⁶³ Maya Kaparova of the NGO Diamond said that in many cases the man is unwilling to risk rejection from a woman whom he fears may be “too good for him.”  She said, “Men want to avoid spending money on courtship, etc.; the man doesn’t think she would choose him, so he doesn’t want to take the risk, or he thinks even so maybe he can win her over in the end.”³⁶⁴ 

Young women are the most frequent targets of kidnapping, and many of them are studying in school or university when they are kidnapped. After marriage, few are permitted to continue their education.³⁶⁵  In most cases, women will be confined to the home and to household duties and child-rearing in the years immediately following marriage. The kidnapping therefore serves to keep women from achieving any economic independence and rising up the social ladder. It shuts them out of the public sphere and consigns them to the home.

Men who kidnap not held accountable

In practice, despite the law against kidnapping, there are no negative social or legal consequences for men who kidnap. They are not prosecuted for the crime. Among most elements of society no stigma attaches to abducting a woman for marriage or serving as an accomplice to such a crime. On the contrary, men who abduct women for forced marriage are congratulated by their family and peers and embraced by the broader society as successful men. Observers point out that, in the eyes of the general public, the abductor has done nothing wrong. Turganbubu Orunbaeva summed up this view: “People don’t understand that kidnapping is a crime.”³⁶⁶

Those involved in an abduction are therefore often impervious to the effect of causing a woman pain and suffering. “If a girl attempts to leave and cries, some people will say that it is ‘fake crying’ or that the crying is just part of showing you are a proper girl,” said Medina Aitieva.³⁶⁷  In Handrahan’s study, 42 percent of men interviewed said they felt “afraid, ashamed or upset about kidnapping a woman,” but when asked, “If the woman seemed upset, did this bother you?” 73 percent of the men said no.³⁶⁸ Orunbaeva charged, “Men think often only about their own need to marry, not about the woman’s side and how she may suffer.”³⁶⁹

Anatomy of an Abduction

Abductions are carried out by acquaintances or strangers

Those who carry out abductions of women and girls for forced marriage are sometimes her friends or acquaintances. As noted above, at times a rejected suitor or impatient boyfriend will be the organizer.

Cases documented by local NGOs and the stories of kidnapped women reveal that abductors are also sometimes complete strangers to the woman targeted. A study conducted in the Aksy district of Jalal Abad province found that 26 of the 35 women whose cases of kidnapping were documented were abducted by complete strangers.³⁷⁰  The 2004 Kleinbach-Ablezova-Aitieva study in a single Kyrgyz village found that 22 percent of the kidnapped women had been kidnapped by men they did not know.³⁷¹  Lori Handrahan states that in her study’s interviews with 176 men who had kidnapped a woman or participated in a kidnapping, she found that 35 percent of them were involved in the kidnapping of a woman they did not know. ³⁷²

Several women interviewed by Human Rights Watch said they were abducted by strangers. Elmira E. said she was taken by force by a group of men at the age of 17: “The men were all drunk. I didn’t know a single one of them…. I only saw my husband on the fourth day after being kidnapped.” ³⁷³ Tursunai T., who was kidnapped at the age of 18, also said, “The man who kidnapped me was a total stranger.”³⁷⁴ Aida A., who was kidnapped at the age of 18 and was subsequently subjected to 25 years of abuse in her marriage, recalled, “I didn’t know my husband [before we married], he was a stranger and he kidnapped me. They forced me.”³⁷⁵

Feruza F. said that although she had seen the men who took her prior to the kidnapping, she did not know the groom in advance. She described herself as being in shock when she realized the men intended her to marry a complete stranger. She said:

The men who took me were acquaintances of my father… It was evening and the men had seen me earlier for a while and they went to my parents and said they wanted to marry me with someone. My parents said “No, she’s still young.”  The men ignored that…. I was in shock, I had never seen this man before and I didn’t want to marry him. I didn’t like it and I said, “I don’t want to live with you and I don’t know you.”  They said, “No this is the way with all women. Everything will be normal.”  I didn’t like the man they made me marry.³⁷⁶

Aisulu A. was lured to a party by a female friend and then kidnapped by men who were strangers to her. She said, “They put me in a car. I cried and tried to refuse. I didn’t want to marry her [the friend’s] brother… I’d never met him before.”³⁷⁷

Women’s rights activists point to the fact that many abductors are complete strangers to the woman involved to support their argument that bride-kidnapping is not a tradition. They take strong exception to the implication that as a “tradition,” the practice is somehow benign. Bubusara Ryskulova said, “Kidnapping is not a tradition, it is a crime. It is not just ‘imitation’ of a crime, there are cases of strangers kidnapping women.”³⁷⁸  Activist Aleksandra Eliferenko concurs. She told Human Rights Watch, “Abduction is not just play-acting. It is still violence. If you write it off as ‘tradition’ then you have to tolerate all types of abduction.”³⁷⁹

Despite the wealth of evidence, law enforcement officers with whom Human Rights Watch spoke denied that strangers and distant acquaintances carry out kidnappings. One senior police officer told Human Rights Watch, “I don’t think [in some cases] they are complete strangers, in most cases he’s at least seen her…. Abductions do of course take place, but rarely of completely unknown women.”³⁸⁰  As was typical of law enforcement officers Human Rights Watch spoke with, this police officer adopted the abductor’s point of view, emphasizing that the woman was already someone known to the man prior to the kidnapping (saying the man usually has seen her beforehand), but ignoring the question of whether or not the man was someone known to the woman, and also apparently not reflecting on whether the man may have been engaged in unacceptable behavior such as stalking the target prior to the kidnapping.

The fact remains that women are often captured by men hitherto completely unknown to them. As noted below, this has significant ramifications for the prospects for violence and aggravated trauma to the woman during the kidnapping.

Abductors may use physical force to capture a woman

In a number of cases men use physical force to literally grab a woman and capture her.³⁸¹  In these cases the abductors are often strangers to the woman—they rely on force where acquaintances may rely on deception to get the woman into their car and take her away (see below).

Lori Handrahan makes the case that men participating in a kidnapping are more willing to use violence against women they do not know.³⁸² As she and others have pointed out, kidnappings are almost always carried out by a group of men rather than by an individual abductor, and Handrahan characterizes the entire group of abductors as invested in the project. ³⁸³ As a result, peer pressure is put on men to carry out and go through with a kidnapping. Handrahan says of her report’s findings, “Kyrgyz men said their friends would ensure that they would not back out…”³⁸⁴

One of the most significant consequences of pressure from those participating in the abduction is to encourage the principal abductor, the intended groom, to proceed with a kidnapping regardless of the pain and trauma it causes the woman and to counter her resistance with physical force.

One NGO expert pointed out that a number of accomplices are needed to carry out the kidnapping: “The men go in groups because they need physical force, they need to get her into the car, and to get her into the house.”³⁸⁵ Regardless of the purpose, the result of kidnappers working in concert is that the men are able to physically overwhelm women, prevent them from escaping, and may deal with women harshly when they attempt to resist. The violence used during the initial phase of the kidnapping can also serve to intimidate the woman and convince her that she has no possibility of escape and no choice but to submit to marrying her abductor.

Elmira E. described the force that was used when she was kidnapped by a group of men unknown to her when she was 17 years old: “I was kidnapped from the sovkhoz [collective farm] by a group of men. I was working in the shed, I was the guard. There were five or six men who grabbed me and forced me into a car…. I didn’t have a choice, there were so many of them and I didn’t have the strength to fight them off.”³⁸⁶  Ainura A., who was kidnapped by her long-time boyfriend and his male accomplices, told Human Rights Watch, “In the car, I tried to fight them off, but the men were strong.”³⁸⁷ Another young woman who was the victim of an attempted kidnapping told a journalist that the men grabbed her and forced her into their car. She resisted, she said, and in the struggle her hand broke through the window. She said that when the men saw all the blood they decided to leave her there and fled the scene.³⁸⁸ Handrahan’s study cites several examples of men who said that they “dragged the woman down the street,” “dragged her into the car,” “broke her hands,” “beat her,” and “covered her mouth and head.”³⁸⁹

Elmira E. commented to Human Rights Watch that the group of men who kidnapped her were “all drunk.”³⁹⁰ Handrahan’s report also shows that the men involved are often drunk during the abduction. She found that 51 percent of men who participated in a kidnapping drank as part of the process.³⁹¹  Handrahan posits that alcohol is part of the group activity and male confidence-building in preparation for abductions. Her report asserts a correlation between alcohol consumption and use of force, indicating it serves to rid men of inhibitions they may otherwise have about using violence against the woman and disregarding her pain and trauma.³⁹² 

NGO activists point out that in some extreme cases the tactics men use to capture a woman result in her death. Several Jalal Abad women’s rights defenders recalled the story of a young woman who was kidnapped in 1999 by a group of men who put her in the water tank on a truck, presumably in order to hide the abduction from police or witnesses. The men failed to open the hole for air on the water tank and the young woman had died by the time they arrived at the principal abductor’s home.³⁹³

Upon arrival at the principal abductor’s house, men appear to often physically overwhelm and compel the woman to go inside. Ainura A. said, “We went to the house and his grandmother came out with the scarf; she tried to put the scarf on my head and the men forced me out of the car and put me in the house and locked me in. I cried and screamed. In the car, I tried to fight them off, but the men were strong.”³⁹⁴ Elmira E. said, “They dragged me to the house and I sat in the corner—the traditional place where women are placed when they are kidnapped and brought to a home.”³⁹⁵

Feruza F. described how her abductors physically overwhelmed her when she was kidnapped, at the age of 17, “…it was already late at night and we came to a house and they said, ‘Come in for tea.’  I said ‘No.’ They forced me out of the car and I sat in the house. They brought the scarf. I fought them off. They used physical force and violently put it on me…. I was behind the curtain. They forced me behind it and they grabbed me by my wrists and ankles and forced me onto the floor. I cried, I was in shock. Later they forced me to write to my parents to say it was voluntary.”³⁹⁶ 

Abductors may use deception to kidnap a woman

In many cases, particularly when abductors are acquainted with the woman, they use deception in place of, or in addition to, physical force to carry out the kidnapping.

Deception is often employed in the first moments of an abduction, to capture the woman and take her to the home of the principal abductor, her intended groom. Men taking part in the kidnapping use false pretenses to lure the woman they have targeted into the car.

Feruza F. was lied to by men who said her parents had summoned her. She said, “The men who took me were acquaintances of my father…. They told me that my parents needed to see me and they’d take me to them, so I got in the car.”³⁹⁷

Keres K. was kidnapped by an acquaintance. She said, “I hadn’t thought of marrying him. He kidnapped me. He told me to get in a car and go to a birthday celebration.”³⁹⁸ Nargiza N. had a similar story to tell, “I was kidnapped. A classmate invited me to a party, but it was a trick. He drove me home and then took another turn. When I asked why, he explained I was being kidnapped…. [Later] they called my parents, friends and told them that he ‘brought’ me, not that I was taken, so there would be social pressure if I spent the night, I’d be considered ruined.”³⁹⁹

Shoira S.’s kidnapper, whose physical and mental problems are mentioned above, was a rejected suitor who pretended that he respected her wishes. She told Human Rights Watch:

I went on one date with him, but I still didn’t like him. On the second date he proposed to me. I said no. He argued a bit, but then he seemed to give in and said, “OK. I won’t date you, I won’t try to convince you.” But he said that he wanted to give me a ride home. I said no, but he insisted. So I got in his car but instead of taking me to my house he took me to his family’s house.⁴⁰⁰

Female friends of the woman targeted for kidnapping sometimes act as accomplices to the abduction—they lull the woman into a sense of safety so that she does not suspect she is being set up for a kidnapping. Aisulu A. said, “In February 2005 a friend of mine invited me to her house for her son’s birthday. I agreed to go. I had been fired from work and said I couldn’t bring a gift, but she convinced me to come anyway. That night, they kidnapped me.”⁴⁰¹

Abductors use psychological coercion

The woman’s abductors and their accomplices use psychological coercion to force a woman to submit to marriage and prevent her from escaping her abductor’s home. Women members of the intended groom’s family take the lead in applying this pressure, which has been described as “extreme” and “severe” and appears designed to elicit her so-called consent to the marriage.⁴⁰² Young women raised, as many ethnic Kyrgyz are, to be agreeable, to respect their elders, and not to challenge those in authority are particularly vulnerable to the pressure put on them by their abductors and their accomplices.

One young woman described this pressure:

There were numerous female relatives from my husband’s family: his mother’s brothers’ wives, and his father’s best friends’ wives. They were all older, all around 55. They sat with me, trying to convince me. They said, “He’s a good boy, he doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, won’t beat you, he is very gentle. If you go now, you don’t know who you’ll eventually marry.”… There is a tradition that the bride should write a letter that she “willingly agrees” to the marriage and this letter will be given to the bride’s parents. They pressured me to do this. I didn’t want to do it, but in the end, I did.⁴⁰³ 

Elmira E. recalled, “For two days I tried to escape. This is the tradition, that the older people in the family speak to you and try to force you, convince you that you should live there. The old women forced me to stay there. Women in the family, but also women in the village, the neighbors, the husband’s relatives. I was 17 years old.”⁴⁰⁴ 

Aisulu A. described the pressure put on her by the family that abducted her and the emotional power they exercised over her, even when conditions in the family deteriorated: “They forced me to stay, using force and psychological pressure. They tried to convince me to stay, so I agreed and tried to make the best of it. A month later… my father-in-law drank and tried to hit me…. I went to leave and my mother-in-law cried, ‘What will the neighbors say?!  Please don’t leave!’  She begged and I felt bad for her and I stayed.”⁴⁰⁵

One government official recognized the power that psychological pressure can have to coerce a young woman to remain with their abductors, and noted that this contributes to the low rate of reporting on kidnappings.⁴⁰⁶

Absence of consent is ignored in the wedding ceremony

When a marriage is registered with the state, at the civil-registry office (ZAGS), a woman is asked whether she consents to the union. In many cases of bride-kidnapping, the groom and his family forego any official ceremony or registration with the state and instead mark the occasion with a wedding feast and party. NGO leaders contend that few marriages that result from kidnapping are officially registered with the state⁴⁰⁷ (indeed, registered marriages in general are reportedly less and less common in Kyrgyzstan).⁴⁰⁸ 

The man’s family may also opt for a Muslim ceremony, an increasingly popular and common practice. Activist Turganbubu Orunbaeva told Human Rights Watch that according to Muslim practice, the local Muslim spiritual leader must officiate at a wedding.⁴⁰⁹  In these cases a moldo (local Muslim cleric) is invited to perform the wedding rites. While the moldo or mullah is expected to ask the woman to express her consent, in practice he often accepts gestures that are short of her giving her explicit consent to the marriage, or he interprets her silence as an expression of consent.⁴¹⁰ 

Women’s rights activists say that the moldo has the potential to be a very effective advocate for women in cases of abduction.⁴¹¹  Turganbubu Orunbaeva recalled one case in which a young woman refused to agree to the marriage and told the local Muslim cleric that she had been kidnapped. He refused to conduct the wedding rites and took her home.⁴¹² But women who have been kidnapped say it does not always go this way. One NGO activist said, “The moldo gets money to consider the marriage legitimate and to act as if the girl has agreed.”⁴¹³

Rights defenders say the moldo should follow guidelines for ensuring that the marriage is consensual and that the authorities are informed in cases of kidnapping. “If a couple doesn’t go to ZAGS, then they have to go to the moldo. We need to tell the moldo that he needs to inform the head of the local administration about all cases of kidnapping, so [the head] can speak with the girl,” said Zhanna Saralaeva from Jalal Abad.⁴¹⁴

Muratali Uchkempirov, who works with a youth development NGO that aims to put an end to bride-kidnapping, charges that aksakals do not intervene on behalf of the kidnapped woman or advocate for her rights when they attend wedding ceremonies and feasts. He said, “Aksakals say that a girl should give her consent. They are invited to weddings; they are asked to convince the [girl’s] parents to agree [to the match], they don’t talk to the girl.”⁴¹⁵

Abductors isolate women to prevent them from escaping

The man (and his family if they have actively participated in planning the abduction), often selects a woman or girl from another town or village. As a result, women who contemplate escape are often prevented by their lack of familiarity with their surroundings—they are disoriented and often literally do not know which way to run. In addition, the unfamiliar surroundings add to a woman’s feelings of isolation and despair and help to convince her that attempting to escape would be futile. In some cases, men who kidnap live in very isolated areas, where there are few places women can turn for help if they flee the house.

As mentioned above, Aisulu A. was tricked into a situation that allowed her to be abducted by strangers. She ended up staying for nine months with her principal abductor. She said later, “I should have left immediately. I should have run off somewhere, but I was outside the city center and I didn’t even know exactly where I was.”⁴¹⁶

Abductors also prevent opportunities for others to interrupt the woman’s isolation and potentially facilitate her escape. Typically abductors recognize that a woman’s family should be informed of the abduction and summoned, but sometimes abductors choose to first subject the woman to further isolation by refusing to allow her any contact with her natal family, or by lying about her ability to contact them. Women are thus deprived the opportunity to ask their close relatives for assistance to escape and experience feelings of abandonment and despair. For example, Elmira E.’s kidnappers refused to contact her parents and tell them where she was. She recalled, “I didn’t know anyone in this village and I was two hours from my home…. For two days I waited for my relatives, for my parents to come. My husband’s parents didn’t inform my parents that they had kidnapped me…. My husband’s relatives really seriously tricked me. They said that they didn’t have money to contact my parents.”⁴¹⁷ Shoira S. said of her abductors, “I begged them to give me the telephone so that I could call my parents but they wouldn’t let me call. They feared that my parents would come and take me.”⁴¹⁸

The potential for the woman to be raped and subjected to other forms of physical harm and coercion are also heightened when abductors have ensured that no one close to the woman knows where she is. Aisulu A. said that after she was taken by a group of strangers, her principal abductor kept her isolated and raped her. She was allowed to contact her mother only a week later. At that point, her abductors gave her misinformation about her location to prevent her mother from coming. She said, “A week later I called my mom and she said she’d come [to see me] but they [the man’s family] had given me the wrong address, so my mother never came. She wanted to come to see if I was OK.”⁴¹⁹

An NGO leader in southern Kyrgyzstan commented that it is typical also for abductors to invite the woman’s more distant relatives instead of her parents to give their approbation of the woman’s kidnapping and marriage. He said, “We try to insist that [the woman’s] parents are invited, so they see their daughter with their own eyes. But a lot of times they [the abductors] just invite more distant relatives.”⁴²⁰

In some cases, a woman’s family will object to the marriage when they are summoned following a kidnapping. In these cases, the parents can insist on removing the woman from the abductor’s home and calling off the marriage. In other cases, however, a woman’s parents approve the marriage through kidnapping and refuse to allow her to return to her natal home. In such instances, parents typically cite concerns that they or their daughter will be stigmatized by the community if she leaves. As discussed below, parents display particular concern over the loss of reputation that will occur if people assume their daughter is no longer a virgin following the abduction. Such concerns can take precedence over anxiety about the young woman’s safety or well-being.

Women are forced to stay with their kidnappers out of fear of social stigma

Rape in abductions

Experts hold a variety of views on the frequency of rape in cases of abduction for forced marriage. While there are virtually no statistics on this, some NGO leaders believe that rape occurs in all or most cases of abduction, whereas one expert said it was not widespread.⁴²¹ Several women victims of kidnapping interviewed by Human Rights Watch said that they were raped by their abductors.⁴²² 

Rape causes women severe physical and emotional pain. It can result in physical injury and long-lasting psychological damage.⁴²³  Aisulu A. described being raped on her first night in the home of her abductor (a stranger), her wedding night: “I didn’t agree to have sex with him that night, but I was so tired of fighting. I thought I could convince him not to.”⁴²⁴ Feruza F. described being raped her first night in her abductor’s home and for years afterward:

He forced me to have sex with him the first night. A woman came to say that they’d prepare my bed; I thought I’d be alone. I lay down to sleep, then he came in and he forced himself on me and raped me. I was saying no and he still did it. I cried and screamed. I still have psychological problems because of that incident. There were other times too when he raped me. I didn’t want to ever go to sleep. I’d fight him off and try to sleep and he’d fight with me and hit me and force me. He especially hit me at night. I didn’t want to have sex with him, but he forced me.⁴²⁵

Other family members, including particularly the intended groom’s mother, fail to protect women in cases of rape. Feruza F. said, “I told my mother-in-law that I didn’t want to live with him, but she just said I needed to stay, she said, ‘It happened to me also and I lived through it and so should you’…. She yelled at me for not wanting to sleep with her son.”⁴²⁶

Stigma associated with rape, or with leaving a marriage

Rape has profound consequences on an abducted woman’s ability to escape her kidnapper. Women in Kyrgyzstan who have been raped by their abductors experience rape as a form of coercion:  it functions to force a woman to submit to marriage, to prevent her from escaping, and to isolate her from her family and community.

When a kidnapped woman is raped in Kyrgyzstan, she is viewed as “ruined,” branded shameful, and is often rejected by her family and community if she seeks to leave her abductor. Many young women who are raped by their kidnappers experience despair and hopelessness and become convinced that they have no choice but to stay: one rights defender commented on cases of rape during kidnapping that “since she has lost her virginity [the girl] thinks she would never have a future if she left.”⁴²⁷  The extended consequences of the rape on her prospects for escape are therefore both real and perceived—the woman sees herself as tainted and, anticipating being rejected by her family and community, feels compelled to remain with her kidnapper and rapist.

Bubusara Ryskulova points out that many women indeed have no place to go if their parents reject them after the rape: “[I]f she’s been raped, she thinks she’s ruined and there’s nowhere to go. If she’s poor, then there is nowhere to go.”⁴²⁸ 

Observers point out that if a woman spends one full night in the abductor’s home, she is considered no longer “pure,” regardless of whether she is still a virgin.⁴²⁹  Turganbubu Orunbaeva, whose NGO in Naryn advocates for an end to bride-kidnapping, has worked on cases in which parents refused to help their daughters escape abduction be cause they, and their community, saw the young women as “ruined.”  Orunbaeva said that in one case a young girl was kidnapped and “after three days was no longer a virgin and so her parents refused to let her leave the forced marriage.”⁴³⁰ 

Echoing this, one government official observed, “If a girl stays there [at the abductor’s home], it is considered shameful if she goes home. So many women decide rather than bear the insults, it’s better to stay there.”⁴³¹Elmira E. said, “I was afraid of the new relatives, but when my own parents came to see me, they said, ‘Don’t come home to us, or no one will respect us anymore.’”  Elmira E. stayed with her abductor and endured years of violence in her marriage until she finally escaped with her children in 1992.⁴³²

In some cases, the woman’s natal family strikes a deal with the abductors out of interest for their own social standing. Aisulu A., for example, was prevented by her abductors from summoning her mother during the initial period of the abduction, only to find that “[l]ater, after the fact, my mother and mother-in-law agreed to the marriage.”⁴³³  The parents of the kidnapped woman or girl are sometimes given money by the groom’s parents in the form of a kalym, a bride price, as a means of canceling out the damage done.⁴³⁴  Such arrangements disregard the kidnapped woman’s safety and happiness and deny her any decision-making authority.

Even in cases when the woman’s natal family signals that it would not reject her after an abduction, she may still fear the consequences of leaving her kidnappers. Tursunai T. was kidnapped by strangers and prevented from escaping. She endured 15 years of abuse by her husband. When her daughter was grown up and was also kidnapped, Tursunai T. did not want her daughter to remain with her abductor. The daughter, however, feared the social consequences of leaving. Tursunai T. said, “My daughter was kidnapped. I went to her immediately when they informed me.… shedecided to stay. ‘Otherwise it will be shameful and I don’t know what my future would be,’ she said. I wanted to take her away. I asked the parents-in-law. I then decided to do what my daughter wanted, so I left her there. I always worry about her future, if she’ll be happy.”⁴³⁵  Similarly, Keres K., who was kidnapped by an acquaintance, said, “I agreed to stay, this is our tradition, and if a girl leaves it is shameful.”⁴³⁶ 

Women conditioned and taught to endure abduction

Many young women and girls are taught by their families not to leave their abductor’s home if they are kidnapped. A set of popular proverbs are employed to deliver the message that women should submit to an abduction if kidnapped, that they should not seek to escape, and that leaving will bring them unhappiness for the rest of their lives. NGO leaders and government officials agree that these social messages can predispose women to submit to a kidnapping, regardless of their own wishes.

Two popular sayings along these lines, referenced by people Human Rights Watch interviewed, were:  “When a stone is thrown, it stays where it lands” and, “once you’ve crossed the threshold, you can’t go back.”’  According to one official, “These sayings mean that if you exit the house, something bad will happen. Mothers and grandmothers tell the girl not to leave if she is kidnapped and they use these proverbs [as instruction]. [G]irls therefore stay, because they were told these messages and it affects them.”⁴³⁷ Abductors, including female relatives of the intended groom who take part in the abduction, employ these sayings to coerce kidnapped women to stay and agree to marry their kidnapper.

Aida A., who was kidnapped by strangers at age 18, said, “If you are kidnapped, you must stay or they will curse you [with a bad life].”  She remained with her abductor, who physically abused her for 25 years.⁴³⁸ Tursunai T., who was kidnapped by strangers at the age of 18 and taken to a remote area, spoke of the psychological power of these curses, “They also put bread and salt across the doorway, so I could not leave, it would be a bad [omen] for me, [a curse].”⁴³⁹ Shoira S. recalled the influence that belief in these curses had on her: “My mom’s best friend came to the house to convince me to stay. We have this belief that once a girl has crossed the threshold, she can’t turn back, or else she will have trouble all of her life. She told me that everyone she knows who left a marriage after kidnapping was unhappy. She said that [if I left] I won’t be happy, I won’t get married, I won’t have children.”⁴⁴⁰  Ainura A., recalling her abduction, said, “They brought the wedding clothes and I tried to fight them off. They tried to convince me. His grandmother lay over the threshold; if you cross over her, you’ll have a terrible life.”⁴⁴¹

Farida F., kidnapped at age 19, described the pressure put on her by her abductors as intense, and said she gave in when she recalled the messages she had received growing up. She said: 

a lot of women of older age gathered around me. There is also another custom. If a girl does not want to marry a particular man and she disagrees, these women are asked to come over and to “prepare” the girl morally, either trying to convince her by putting moral pressure on her or sometimes even by hypnotizing her. So, you can probably imagine how that feels, when a girl is on her own and there are all these people around her, all saying, “You should agree, because this is right, it is according to our customs and traditions. God himself decided that it should be this way,” and so on and so forth. At that moment I remembered my grandmother’s words: “If it happens to you this way, just let it be. It means that it must be your destiny then, it must be the way of your happiness.”  Of course, it was very difficult for me to put up with it, but I had to. Although later on I greatly regretted that I did it.⁴⁴²

One government official suggested it was the power of the social warnings, or curses, that left women unhappy after abduction and confirmed that young women often therefore fear the consequences of leaving. He said, “Modern girls are more likely to leave. But I have not seen a single girl who left and was then happy. These girls go back to their families and are not happy again. The parents of the man curse her and she cannot find happiness, so many girls are therefore afraid to leave.”⁴⁴³

Consequences of Abduction

Physical and emotional pain and suffering

In many cases, a woman who is abducted experiences a compounded trauma:  the kidnapping and the years of abuse that follow. Some women feel insulted and angry at the loss of control they experience during a kidnapping. Nargiza N. was kidnapped by a classmate and managed to leave hours later when her parents were convinced to come and retrieve her. She said, “I felt really insulted that he had kidnapped me. I didn’t like him using such violent means and lies. I was also angry that his family tried to force me to stay and used such force.”⁴⁴⁴

Women become extremely agitated during the kidnapping. Shoira S. recalled the emotional pain she felt when she was kidnapped: “The night that my husband kidnapped me, he took me home to his house at about 6 p.m. They put me in a room in the corner with the curtain for the bride. I cried, I resisted, I asked them not to force me, because I was still so young. This resistance went on until 5 a.m. the next morning. And all that time they couldn’t get me to calm down.” ⁴⁴⁵ Abductions by the woman’s acquaintance or friend can be no less brutal and emotionally damaging than abductions by strangers. Ainura A. was kidnapped by the man she had been dating for several years. She had declined to marry him in part because her mother objected to the match. She described her shock and terror when she was locked in his family’s home and the scarf was forced on her. “I cried and screamed,” she said. “I tried to fight them off.”⁴⁴⁶

But resistance can give way to a sense of helplessness when the women are physically overpowered by their abductors, and emotionally overwhelmed by their situation. As in cases of domestic violence, women who were kidnapped told Human Rights Watch or local women’s rights NGOs that they experienced anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and fear and paranoia, which are all symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.⁴⁴⁷

Feruza F. described the lasting trauma she experienced after being abducted by a stranger and raped and beaten by him for a year-and-a-half. She said that when she managed to return home to her parents she was psychologically ill and had heart problems, “I wasn’t able to sleep. My parents took me to the doctor, who gave me medicine.”⁴⁴⁸  She described the crippling trauma she continues to experience years later, “I’m still afraid; afraid that it will happen again. I won’t talk to any men. I’m afraid of everything now.”⁴⁴⁹

Some women feel such deep despair following an abduction that they attempt to take their own lives. One activist spoke of the emotional state of a young girl who was kidnapped at age 12 and able to return home to her mother a year later, “At that point, she should have been in the ninth grade, but she couldn’t go to school because of the shame. She wanted to kill herself, she tried several times…”⁴⁵⁰

Shoira S. suffered severe depression after her abduction and marriage to a man who was apparently mentally ill and impotent (see above). She said she was under pressure to become pregnant. Her depression eventually drove Shoira S. to attempt suicide at the age of 18. She said:

I was really stressed… I felt awful pressure from all sides…. I had horrible depression, and I decided to die. I felt that I was causing a lot of sadness to my parents and I didn’t have any other choice. I took 40 tablets of a relaxant, dimedrol [sleeping pills]….I started to fall down, my knees were weak, I was seeing spots…. I couldn’t speak normally. My friends… took me to the hospital and I was treated.… My parents took me home, although the doctors were concerned that I shouldn’t have any trauma…. I haven’t seen my husband since.⁴⁵¹

A number of women interviewed by Human Rights Watch who were kidnapped by strangers expressed sympathy for their male abductors. In extreme cases, captured women came to identify with their abductor, to seek his approval. Reminiscent of what is commonly referred to as Stockholm Syndome among hostages, this response appears to have been a coping mechanism. The women’s identification with their abductors and anxiety for approval of their abusers served to prevent them from taking opportunities to escape the abusive situation.

Aisulu A. expressed such identification with her kidnapper, a stranger to her who had  raped her on the first night at his home. When she became pregnant he told her to get an abortion. The man prevented her from fleeing and refused to protect her when her sister-in-law repeatedly beat her. Instead of holding her husband responsible for kidnapping her, she viewed him as equally a victim of the kidnapping. “We were both forced to marry,” she said.⁴⁵² With regard to beatings by her sister-in-law, Aisulu A. expressed a desperate desire for the approval of her abductor, “I wanted to talk to him and explain that it was not my fault, that I am good, that it was his sister.”⁴⁵³

Domestic violence

As described above, for women and girls who are abducted for forced marriage their first encounter with their future husband is characterized by violence and psychological trauma. The physical and psychological abuse often continue in the marriage. Experts who work with victims of domestic violence observed that it is particularly prevalent in marriages that begin with kidnapping.⁴⁵⁴  An intern with the NGO Diamond noted, “If a man uses violence to get a wife, it’s a signal that he will use violence in the future.”⁴⁵⁵

Others who work with women victims of kidnapping say that the nature of the violence they face in the home is often the same as that endured by women who marry through arranged marriages or who chose their spouse, but that violence starts earlier in marriages that take place through kidnapping.⁴⁵⁶

Many of the women victims of abduction for forced marriage who were interviewed by Human Rights Watch described in detail the abuse that they suffered at the hands of their husbands. This testimony is presented in the first section of this report, on domestic violence.

New brides forced to work as unpaid servants for their in-laws

As noted above in the background section of this report, new brides are often treated harshly by their in-laws and particularly are regarded as, and function much like, servants to their mothers-in-law. The new bride is expected to do the mother-in-law’s bidding while often suffering physical and psychological abuse by her and other members of the family. In cases of abduction—especially abduction by strangers, when the woman’s natal family has little or no connection to her marital family—she appears to be particularly vulnerable to abuse and exploitation by her mother-in-law and others in the extended family, as well as by her husband. This is especially true also in cases when the woman is kept in isolated circumstances or forbidden to leave the house.

Families in Kyrgyzstan generally exploit the labor of new brides as a way of adding to the resources and productivity of the household with little cost to the family. In such cases the abducted woman’s situation is analogous to unpaid servitude. Farida F. recalled what it was like after her abduction, at age 19:

I was in somebody else’s house and I put great effort into trying to adjust myself to the new place and its people. I did my best to make sure that my new relatives would be satisfied with me. I had to do practically everything in the house—all the possible housework, and nobody ever helped me…. The new family was large, very large. They had six children, the eldest one was my husband, and the youngest girl was only a year-and-a-half old. So, it is easy to imagine now how much of an effort it took for me to take care of and to clean everything for all these people.⁴⁵⁷

Feruza F., who was abducted at the age of 17, recounted her daily routine: “They never let me out of the house. I would milk the cows and then prepare the breakfast and then make the beds and clean the house and make bread and make the lunch and pick apples and then in the evening I’d make another meal for everyone. I did everything.”⁴⁵⁸ Elmira E. also said she was forced to work for her husband’s family: “I did everything around the house. I even took care of the cattle and the garden that was five hectares.”⁴⁵⁹

Tursunai T. was abducted by strangers who forced her to work every day herding their sheep. It was the family business, but she saw no profit from it and owned no share in it when she eventually fled. She observed, “It’s shameful that I worked for 15 years and I have nothing to show for it.”⁴⁶⁰

Many times the family members of a woman’s abductor treat her as though she is their property. Ainura A., who was kidnapped and then years later kicked out of the home by her mother-in-law, said, “Later she went to the mosque and said, ‘Return her to me’ and they refused. They said, ‘You didn’t ask for our advice when you kicked her out, why should she be your slave forever.’”⁴⁶¹

Gulzat G. recounted the conditions she was forced to live under in her in-laws’ home, where her role was more like that of an unpaid servant than a member of the family:

For the whole time that I lived with my in-laws, I had a separate room…. I only ever entered the main house when my mother-in-law demanded that I clean the house. She would send one of her sons over to my room to tell me that I should go to the house and clean everything within two hours and then I would be forced out of the house again. My mother-in-law treated me like a slave.⁴⁶²

No Justice for Victims of Abduction

The law against bride-kidnapping

Bride-kidnapping is illegal in Kyrgyzstan. Article 155 of the Criminal Code outlaws non-consensual marriage by abduction. It says, “Forcing a woman to marry or to continue a marriage or kidnapping her in order to marry without her consent” will be punished under the law. The prescribed penalty is a fine in the amount of 100 to 200 times the minimum monthly wage or up to five years in prison.⁴⁶³  (The minimum monthly wage in Kyrgyzstan in 2005 was about 100 som, equivalent to about $2.42).⁴⁶⁴

Women’s rights advocates view the option of a fine for so serious a crime as outrageous. “It’s crazy that there’s only a 20,000 som fine for abduction. He takes her, rapes her, and throws her out and gets just a fine,” said activist Zhanna Saralaeva.⁴⁶⁵

Sociologist Medina Aitieva agrees: “The penal code should be much clearer on the punishment [for kidnapping]. For most serious crimes you get a jail sentence, but for abduction they give the option of a fine. Accomplices and others complicit should also get jail time and people should be aware that they run a risk by being part of such an act.”⁴⁶⁶ 

Other laws, in particular article 111 of the Criminal Code, can also be employed to hold kidnappers to account for the violence against women that often accompanies abductions. As noted in the previous chapter on domestic violence, article 111 criminalizes the infliction of physical or psychologi cal suffering on a person through systematic beatings or other violence. The prescribed penalty of up to three years in prison is increased to up to seven years if the violence is committed against “a person who had been abducted or taken hostage.”  Other relevant aggravating circumstances include when the violence is committed by a group or by a group acting under a conspiracy. Criminal Code article 112, “Purposeful infliction of light damage to health,” can also be relevant to some cases of kidnapping.

The 2003 Law on Social-Legal Protection from Domestic Violence is essentially silent on the issue. Article 4 states that one of the principles guiding this law is “protection from religious, cultural and other customs that may harm family relationships,” but makes no further references that could be construed as providing specific protection against the practice of bride-kidnapping.⁴⁶⁷

The law not enforced

The CEDAW Committee has stated its concern about the continuing existence of bride abduction and polygyny in Kyrgyzstan, despite laws against these practices. It said, “The Committee recommends action without delay by the State party to enforce its laws penalizing these practices. The Committee also recommends that the State party take comprehensive and effective measures, including the training of the judiciary and law enforcement officials and public awareness raising campaigns, to eliminate these practices.”⁴⁶⁸

Those responsible for law enforcement do not regard the abduction of women and girls for forced marriage as a serious crime. Local law enforcement officials who spoke to Human Rights Watch did not view it as a law enforcement issue at all. One senior police officer said, “Abduction, it’s just called this. Ninety-nine percent of women agree to the kidnapping. I kidnapped my wife…”⁴⁶⁹ A senior police official from another major city said, “Bride-kidnapping—oh, they only do this by agreement. This is following traditions. If there’s not agreement, then people will file a complaint.”⁴⁷⁰

Police officers interviewed by Human Rights Watch about abduction for forced marriage literally treated it as a laughing matter, giggling when the topic was brought up. Some made jokes about kidnapping or “offered” to kidnap Human Rights Watch’s researchers while they were in town. According to NGO leaders, these attitudes were typical, and police are generally indifferent to the problem of kidnapping or, if anything, express support for the abductors rather than their victims (the rarity of actual reporting by women abduction victims to the police, and police non-responsiveness to cases made known to them, are discussed below). Such attitudes perpetuate the cycle of crime, arbitrariness of the law, and impunity for violent crimes against women.

As with police failure to protect women in cases of domestic violence, the failure of police to act on behalf of victims of bride-kidnapping is closely connected with women’s lack of trust in police and the problem of rampant police corruption. When asked what steps the police are taking to prevent bride-kidnapping, Orunbaeva said, “The police have no role in this so far.”⁴⁷¹

Investigations and prosecutions for bride-kidnapping extremely rare

Prosecutions for the crime of bride-kidnapping are extremely rare, and experts were unable to name a single case of abduction that had gone to trial. “I’ve never heard of a criminal case being opened related to a kidnapping,” said Zhanna Saralaeva, an NGO activist from Jalal Abad.⁴⁷² Medina Aitieva shared the same frustration:

I’ve never heard of a case where a woman sued for kidnapping as a crime if she was returned home. In one case, a family sued a man for kidnapping because the families had no connection to one another. There was financial compensation for the family, but no jail time for the kidnappers. There are almost no legal cases. Even the case in the film [by Petr Lom] where the girl died, that case hasn’t gone anywhere. It was too hard to prove. No autopsy was done. The other side [the abductor’s family] said it was suicide. ⁴⁷³

Women’s rights advocates say that a successfully prosecuted case would go far to highlight the problem and prevent future kidnappings. “We need a judicial precedent in order to stopthis [cycle],” said Bubusara Ryskulova.⁴⁷⁴ First though, the authorities responsible for carrying out the law need to recognize its validity and relevance, advocates say: “The government must recognize that kidnapping is a crime. They need to carry out the laws that exist,” declared Saralaeva.⁴⁷⁵

Few victims of kidnapping for forced marriage turn to the police. ⁴⁷⁶ The psychological pressure, fear of social stigma, and fear of retaliation that so effectively prevent a woman from fleeing a man’s home after she is abducted also work to dissuade her from reporting the crime of kidnapping to the authorities.⁴⁷⁷  As Aitieva observed, “Most women don’t go to the police because they’re afraid of the negative consequences and condemnation of their families; and many are dependent on others and can’t risk upsetting them. If a woman’s parents are willing to fight for her, then it can be pursued, but usually the parents are more concerned about how society views them than they are about fighting for their children.”⁴⁷⁸

Even in the rare instances when a woman can overcome barriers and file a complaint, and when police register the woman’s complaint, activists charge, the authorities fail to prosecute cases of abduction. Turganbubu Orunbaeva, for example, reports that women victims of bride-kidnapping confront the same attitude with which Human Rights Watch researchers were met by police: “If [women] go to the police, the police say, ‘It’s the tradition, everyone does it.’”⁴⁷⁹ She also spoke about her research into the issue, saying that out of 860 women interviewed about kidnapping, only three had brought criminal cases. In those three cases, she said, the men were not punished: “The women gave statements [to the police] and then the statements never went to the court; the parents found common agreement and the women remained without justice.”⁴⁸⁰  Another activist on bride-kidnapping issues said, “Even when the neighborhood police officer finds out [about a kidnapping], he doesn’t consider it a crime.”⁴⁸¹ A third said, “When I was young, if a girl was taken by force, the police would interfere, but now they’ve gotten used to it and no longer respond.”⁴⁸²

One obstacle a woman faces when trying to pursue a criminal case against her abductors is the perception that if she succumbed to the pressure brought to bear on her and in the end submitted to the marriage and stayed at the home of her abductor, then she cannot hold her kidnappers accountable for their actions against her. She is seen as complicit in the kidnapping and is told she cannot bring a case against her abusers. For example, Aisulu A., who lived with her abductor for nine months, said that when she later consulted a lawyer about her options for bringing a case for the kidnapping and beatings by her sister-in-law, the lawyer advised that she had waited too long: “The lawyer [at the shelter] said that after nine months [of marriage] I can’t say that I was forced and kidnapped. [The lawyer] said I should have written a statement earlier and gotten a medical exam when [the sister-in-law] beat me.”⁴⁸³

The case of one woman with police connections came up repeatedly as the one example of police taking action regarding a case of kidnapping. Even in this situation, there are doubts that justice was done. The woman was kidnapped, but was able to flee. She went to a local NGO for help, and was encouraged to file a complaint with the police. The woman had connections to the police, as her brother was a local police officer. She was successful in registering her complaint. The woman’s relatives came to an arrangement with the abductor, who gave the woman and her family money, and the matter was closed.⁴⁸⁴

Local and national government officials unresponsive to the kidnapping problem

NGO leaders report that when they raise the problem of bride-kidnapping with local government officials, they are spurned and ignored. Turganbubu Orunbaeva, of Bakubat NGO in Naryn, said, “Even the people at the Akimiat [mayor’s office] who are responsible for gender issues say I should shut up. They all think I should shut up.”⁴⁸⁵

Government officials responsible for human rights on a national level also resist responsibility to stop bride-kidnapping, and instead put the burden on women victims to ensure that the law is followed. “Women should be the initiators of complaints, they should appeal. Not if girls are kidnapped and then agree to stay, but if she feels that there was a violation of her rights,” said one official from the ombudsman’s office, revealing at the same time his perception that women who agree to stay with their abductors have not experienced violation of their rights.⁴⁸⁶