Nick, age 25

“I took three months to pray, because people said that [homosexuality] was bad. I prayed that I would change, but it didn’t succeed.”

When I was 18 a girl fell in love with me. We had an experience, we kissed, but it didn’t go farther. I realized that maybe I was gay. I took three months to pray, because people said that was bad, that God had burned Sodom because of this. I prayed that I would change, but it didn’t succeed.

Finally I told the girl. She said that she understood, and that others shouldn’t judge me, because she didn’t and she was the one who was in love with me.

When it didn’t work out with the girl, I also told my sisters. This provoked many days of argument. My older sister said perhaps I had been bewitched, but my little sister understood.

With my father, we don’t talk about it. One time I was with my father and we heard a broadcast about homosexuality on the radio. I said, “What do you think about that? What would you do if you had a son who was gay?” He said, “I would disown him.” I also had a professor who was talking in class one day about the law that was proposed, and he said, “If I had a homosexual child, I would banish him from my family.” Normally I participate in class a lot, but since he said that, I am afraid to raise my hand.

I’m studying business administration and marketing, and I finish next year. I would like to work in a bank or open my own business. This is why I don’t tell my father – if I’m disowned, I won’t have the means to get started in life. Maybe when I’m financially independent I can tell him, but if I tell him now, he could even cut off the money for my studies.

Recently a policeman called to me when I was at market, and asked for my ID. When I showed it to him he said, “Oh you are a boy!” I said yes. He said, “Soon you’ll be in prison.” I said, “Who?” He said, “You, the homosexuals, if the law is signed.” Now, I’m afraid that if that police officer sees me again, he could imprison me on the spot.